


Tu étais formidable, j’étais fort minable

by SpookyFaces



Category: Bandom, Twenty One Pilots
Genre: Blood, Blurryface, Dark Thoughts, Depression, M/M, Self-Harm, Webcams, josh dun - Freeform, split personality, tyler joseph - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-01-21
Updated: 2017-03-23
Packaged: 2018-09-19 01:55:18
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 20
Words: 18,006
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9412643
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SpookyFaces/pseuds/SpookyFaces
Summary: How can somebody be scary, frightening and intimidating, but unbelievably beautiful at the same time? Josh never understood it. That's why he got nervous when someone sent him a video of an unknown boy with red eyes and maniac laugh hurting himself.Is it possible to love someone who can not be saved?Well, Josh does. He loves Tyler.But Tyler gave up on himself a long time ago.(the title is French, which means - "You were wonderful, I was pathetic." Inspired from Stromae's song.)





	1. I care what you think

After minutes of pacing nervously in his room, Josh finally sat down next to his desk and opened his laptop again. He sighed and resumed the video he had paused before. The face on the video started moving again. It was a boy. Probably his age, dark fluffy hair and long, dark eyelashes. The boy was beautiful. Pointy nose and full lips. But,despite his beauty, the boy looked intimidating and scary. He was wearing red contacts (Right? Of course these are contacts), his neck and hands were covered in something black, something like paint. His voice was deep, red eyes were darting from one place to another, unable to focus while he was talking. He was waving his fingers, laughing maniacally and barely blinking. Somebody mailed this video to Josh this morning. He did not recognize the e-mail address, nor the boy. It was the first time he ever saw him. And he was fascinated. And scared. Josh started the video again, this time trying to listen and understand words the boy was mumbling. 

“Hello. You’re probably wondering, who the hell this is. So hello, my name is Blurryface. Blurry. Nice to meet you. I don’t really care about your name. The thing is, you were chosen. Yeah. I just made up some names and e-mails and sent this video to you.” - The boy laughed, loudly, revealing his bright, white teeth. He looked insane. 

“So. The thing is.. I wanna play a game with you, if you don’t mind. But there are some rules.” - The boy smirked, his smile was full of mischief. 

“First: you’re gonna need something sharp. Something that can.. damage you. Come on, don’t be a pussy. Bring it. Make it a razor, a kitchen knife, screwdriver, whatever the hell you want.” - Josh swallowed hard,grabbing his mouse to turn off the video, but something deep inside had stopped him. This boy was nothing he has ever seen before. 

“Second rule: you’re not gonna show anyone this video. Anyone,ever. See, I’ve been living a trapped life in this body for almost 18 years now. This..” - The boy pointed his long index finger towards himself. 

“This is a vessel. A fucking meat suit,okay? Tyler, he.. Oh, if you’ve never met him, Tyler is in fact the one who owns this suit. And I own Tyler. Simple, isn’t it? I’m a demon who lives inside of his mind. And finally, after years of struggling I got out. I broke through. And if he, or anyone else realizes it, we’ll get locked up in the asylum. And that would really suck, right?” - He laughed again laugh, maniacally , like he did many times before. Then, his face became serious suddenly. 

“So. Yeah. No talking. And the third rule..” - The boy neared his web camera, red eyes shimmering towards Josh. 

“You are never going to forget me.” - He shifted back to his place and smiled. Josh blinked several times. Was he talking to him, specifically? He was mesmerized. But, somewhere deep inside his soul, he felt sorry for this boy.. Tyler? He had problems. Serious metal problems. He needed help.

“Now, back to the game. Take your sharp object..” - He was snapped out of his thoughts by a deep voice. Blurry was holding a huge kitchen knife which Josh did not notice before.How could he not notice it? The mysterious boy lifted the knife to his tongue and slowly licked the sharp surface, tiny drops of blood were now streaming down the knife. Josh shut his eyes and turned around, not to see this horror. He heard Blurry's moans, whispers, laugh.. He got silent suddenly. Josh turned his head to face the computer. The boy was staring at him through the monitor. He looked.. Frustrated? Josh cleared his throat and tired to get rid of these thoughts. This is just a video of some psychopath. Just turn it off and go to bed.  
But the boy was literally looking at him. His face was twitched from disgust.

“Pussy.” - With this word, the boy disappeared from his computer. The video ended. Josh breathed out and leaned back to the back of his chair. What the hell was this?! He quickly shut the laptop down and got up, approaching his bed. He crashed on it, too tired to even take off his clothes. He closed his eyes and waited for a sleep to take over his mind. One last thought run through his brain before blacking out:

“YOU WILL NEVER FORGET ME."


	2. I've been thinking too much

It’s been a week since Josh received that strange video. He has never played it again, he simply deleted the mail next morning and tried really hard not think about the unknown boy. But still, his mind couldn’t leave Blurry alone. Was he okay? Was he suicidal? Does he need any help? But of course, this were just thoughts and nothing else.   
Josh was doing his every-week grocery shopping in the huge hypermarket down the street, the one he goes to all the time. He looked down at the list. He needed to buy some milk and cereal. He walked towards the shelve with all kinds of cereals. He needed the chocolate ones, his favorites. Suddenly, Josh heard some strange noises coming from the other side of the shelves. He knitted his brows together, but ignored the sound until it repeated. Again. And again. It sounded like somebody was.. crying? Josh put down his basket full of groceries and walked around shelves. Somebody was sitting down on the floor, his back facing Josh. They were sniffling and sobbing quietly. Josh slowly approached them and tried to examine their face. That was when he froze on his place. The boy, who was sitting in front of him, was covering his face with hands. But his hands were.. black. Josh recognized Blurry’s hands, fingers, hair.. No ,this could not be happening. Not to him. Josh wanted to turn around and ran away because he had to admit, he was scared of this person. But something inside of his heart did not let him leave the sobbing boy alone. So Josh approached the boy and cleared his throat. The sound made smaller man flinch slightly. 

“You uh.. You okay?” - The boy slowly looked up, hands falling down to his lap. His huge, sad eyes full of tears were not red anymore. They were brown. Coffee-brown. Chocolate-brown. Josh swallowed hard and tried not to stare. But it was hard. Really hard.

“You’re Bl..uh, Tyler right?” - The boy nodded, his eyes slightly going wide.

“H-How do you know me?” - Even his voice was different. Not the deep, dark voice Josh heard a week ago. It was a broken, quiet voice which barely reached Josh.

“Do you need some help?” - Josh decided to ignore the boys question because he did not even know what to answer. Tyler looked down at his hands and sniffled.

“I don’t know how I got here. I don’t.. I don’t remember.. And my hands they’re.. They are black and I don’t know why..” - He looked up at Josh again, tears were sliding down his cheeks. “Help me, please..”

Josh sighed and crouched down the crying boy. His heart was breaking from the sight. He was sure Tyler did nothing to deserve this.. He probably had a split-personality disorder,which was a serious mental illness. He needed someone to help him. 

“Do you remember where do you live?” - The boy slowly nodded.

“Okay.. Want me to take you home?” - Tyler shook his head and wiped tears with the sleeve of his black hoodie. 

“No.. I mean.. I live alone.. And I don’t want to be alone, not now.. I can’t control myself, I don’t know what’s happening to me..” - He whispered. 

Josh realized this was a bad idea. He barely knew the boy. And there was a huge chance Blurry would wake up any second and stab Josh to death but..

“Maybe you want to come to my house?” 

Tyler’s eyes lighted up. He lifted his eyes to meet Josh’s soft ones.

“Really? I mean.. Can I?”

“Yeah,man. Of course. Come on, I’ll make you some hot chocolate, you’ll gonna love it.” - Josh chuckled and got up. Tyler tried to get up too, but his knees were to weak and he stumbled, nearly falling. But Josh caught him at the right time. 

“Are you sure you can walk?” 

Tyler nodded and Josh could swear he even saw the boy smiling at him. Josh smiled back, squeezing Tyler’s forearm and leaded the way out of the market, leaving his groceries behind.


	3. Somebody catch my breath

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I tried really hard on this chapter. So hope you like it! <3 stay safe,frens

Tyler was sitting in the living room,hugging one of his knees and resting his chin on it. Josh has checked his hot chocolate recipe at least three times before preparing it. He never messed it up, but for some reason he really wanted to impress Tyler. He walked out of the kitchen and put mugs with dark liquid on the coffee table. He sat down near Tyler and looked at him. The boy’s mind was wandering somewhere else. He was staring at the blank wall and barely blinking. Josh got even more nervous. He did not want the “other side” of the boy to wake up. 

“So..” - He started and scratched his neck. “You uh, remembered anything?”

Tyler shook his head slowly, not moving his eyes from the wall. 

“Okay.. Here, try this. I’m not sure it will help, but still..” - Josh handed him a mug of hot chocolate. Tyler took it with his trembling hands and smiled at Josh, he finally looked at him and left the stupid wall alone. 

“Thank you, Josh..” - Tyler whispered.

“It’s.. Hey, you know my name?” - Josh sounded too happy about it. The smaller boy’s eyes suddenly got wide as he looked up from his drink and met Josh’s eyes.

“How do I know your name?” - He mumbled, pure shock drawn in his sad eyes. Josh wanted to slap himself for being so stupid. 

“I’ve told you. I’m pretty sure I told you.”

“No. You have not..” - Tyler knitted his brows together. “Have we ever met?”

“What? No. No, of course.”

“But you know my name. And I know yours..” - Thin boy looked down at his hands and whispered quietly “Have you met him?”

“Who?” - Tyler looked up, his eyes became even sadder then they were before and Josh wanted to hug the distress out of him.

“Blurryface.”

Josh swallowed hard and let out a small laugh. 

“I uh.. I don’t..” - He was searching for words.

Tyler smirked and shook his head. “I should have known.. I know he broke through. it’s just.. Hell.. That’s why I don’t remember anything from today.. He probably made me go to that stupid hypermarket..” Tyler placed a mug on the table and covered his face with hands, leaning his elbows on the knees and sighed. 

“I have never met him.. You.. In person. He sent me a video some time ago..” - Tyler’s head snapped up, their eyes met again. “He uh.. He was talking some horrible things and.. Then he started to hurt himself.. I mean to hurt you..”

Tyler slowly touched his cheek, where a small cut was already healing. Blurryface probably cut his cheek along with the tongue in that video. 

“Tyler..” - Josh touched the boy’s shoulder, but caused him to flinch. “You need help..”

“No.” - Tyler jumped on his feet, hands clutching on his own hair. “No. No you can’t tell anyone.. They will lock me up, they will hurt me.. I don’t want to be hurt.” - Suddenly he approached Josh and fell to his knees, his hands were gripping on Josh’s knees as the boy started to beg. “Josh, promise me you won’t tell anyone. I don’t want them to hurt me again..” - His voice cracked on the last word. And something in Josh’s body broke along with Tyler’s voice. “Again". Somebody hurt him. Josh grabbed Tyler’s hands and squeezed them with his fingers.

“I promise. I promise just.. Breath okay? Calm down, I won’t tell anyone.” - Tyler breathed out and closed his eyes. They sat in full silence for at least 10 minutes. Josh gripping Tyler’s hands and Tyler standing on his knees in front of him.

“Tyler.” - The boy opened his eyes and blinked several times, looked like he zoned out again. “Come on.. Get up and let’s get you to bed. You need to rest.”

“You have two beds?” - The boy asked while getting up from his knees, still holding one of Josh’s hands.

“Uh,no. But I’m okay to occupy the couch for some time.” 

“But..”

“No, Tyler. Come on. Don’t even try to argue on this.” - The other boy nodded and Josh leaded way to his bedroom. “I uh, I’ve changed sheets this morning but if you want I can..”

“No, it’s fine. It’s perfect.. I don’t know how to thank you, Josh..” - Tyler’s sad voice worked therapeutically for Josh,for some unexplained reason. Josh smiled at him.

“Don’t think about it,Ty.”

“Ty..?”

“Sorry. I just..”

“No. I like it. Nobody ever calls me that.” - Tyler smiled. No to Josh, To himself. He approached the bed and sat down, eyes examining the bedroom.

“Call me if you ned anything,okay? Bathroom is the first door on the left down the hall.” - Josh smiled at him one last time and left the room. 

__

He’s been lying on the couch with his eyes wide open for almost 3 hours now. Sleep did not want to occupy his mind, and Josh understood why. The most mysterious person he has ever known was sleeping (probably) behind the wall. Josh wanted to know him. Wanted to crawl inside the boy’s mind and understand every detail about him. He wanted to help and protect Tyler. Why did he feel sudden urge to save this boy? It was hard for him to understand. Everything about Tyler was fascinating. Not because of his split-personality. But because of the way his lashes were touching his cheeks when he closes his eyes, or the way his voice sounds like a sad note, or the way his fingers shake slightly, the way his sad eyes lock on Josh’s.. He shook his head to get rid of this thoughts. Tyler was too fragile for this.. Suddenly, Josh heard the loud sound, like somebody shut the door loudly. He sat up and looked towards his bedroom. The thin, tall silhouette was standing in the dark, looking at him. 

“Ty? Everything alright?” - Josh stood up from the couch and started to near Tyler.

“Stop.” - Tyler whispered. Josh froze on his place. 

“Tyler, what happened?” - Josh sounded confused.

He got no response. Just..laughing? Was it laughing? Tyler finally looked up at him, and that’s then Josh forgot how to breathe. His eyes. They were red. Glowing red. The chocolate-brown was gone. The red was back.

“You..” - Josh let out a pathetic gasp.

Blurry smiled at him, white teeth literally shining through the dark hall. He started to slowly approach Josh, every step he took made Josh’s heart beat faster. 

“Hello, Joshua. Nice to finally meet you, in person.” - His dark voice filled up Josh’s brain. “What a coincidence it is, that Tyler managed to meet you, out of all people in this town, huh? This boy never stops to surprise me.” - Blurry was now standing in front of Josh, inches separating them. He observed Josh, like some kind of an animal smelling and examining his food.

“What do you want?” - Josh whispered. He felt tiny drops of sweat coming out on his forehead. He was scared. 

“Oh, nothing special..” - Blurry laughed hysterically. His voice became serious again. “I want Joshua Dun to be hurt.” - With these words, the tall boy attacked Josh, painfully pinning him to the wall behind him. Josh let out a quiet whimper.

“Look, how delicious you look..” - Blurry smelled Josh’s hair and laughed. “I want you to scream, cry for help, like I did for 18 years!” - The strong fist met Josh’s cheek, and the next second Josh was spitting his own blood. “But guess who heard me! Nobody! Nobody helped me!” Blurry kicked him into the stomach and caused him to fall to his knees. Then, he crouched in front of him and grabbed Josh's throat, wide red eyes glowing, and lips twisting maniacally. 

“Why..Me..?” - Josh managed to whisper.

“Because he likes you.. And you want to save him.. But nobody want to save me. And guess what? Tyler can’t be saved!” - Blurry growled and squeezed his long fingers on Josh’s throat. Black dots started to dance around Josh’s eyes.

“No.. You’re not.. Like this.. You’re not.. Him..” - Josh’s shaking hand cupped Blurry’s cheek. The psycho-smile disappeared from the man’s face. He looked.. confused? “Tyler.. You can fight this.. Fight him.. I believe in you..”

“Shut up!!” - Blurry shouted.

“No.. Ty.. You’re strong..I know it’s hard but.. Do it.. For me..” - Josh felt the grip on his throat becoming weaker, he moved away coughing and gasping for breath. He managed to catch his breath and glanced back at the boy in front of him. His red eyes were full of sorrow..

“No. No stop. You can’t do this to me, you pathetic son of a bitch. Don’t you dare!!!!” He was screaming now. Suddenly, it all stopped. Blurry inhaled deeply, red eyes glowed once, before disappearing and bringing back the chocolate-brown color. The boy fell down to his knees and Josh caught him just in time before he could fall to the floor. He locked Tyler in his embrace.

“Hey, it’s okay. You’re fine..I’ve got you..” - Blood was streaming down his chin but he couldn’t care less. He looked down at the boy, who’s head was resting on his chest. He was unconscious but Josh could feel his chest slowly rising up and down. He lifted the boy into his arms and got up form the floor. Tyler was surprisingly lightweight.  
“I've got you, Ty..” - He whispered before slowly walking towards his bedroom.


	4. Some people, they know

Black and white dots dancing behind his closed eyelids made Josh realize it was already a morning. He disconnected his eyes glues from the sleep and blinked the blur away. He sat up, leaning on his elbows and looked around the room. He was alone, in the bed where Tyler was supposed to be sleeping. He knitted his brows, slowly regaining the memories of the last night. Blurryface, blood, his busted lip. He reached his hand to touch his lip. The blood was gone, but it still hurt. He shook his head, finally getting rid of the last pieces of sleep and got up from the bed. He grabbed a hoodie from his closet and put it over, deciding not to put on any pants, just to stay in his boxers. He scratched his head and walked out of the room. The boy examined the hallway, which was just as empty as the bedroom. For a moment, Josh got scared that Tyler left. But the he saw the boy’s beanie on the couch and breathed out with a relief. He walked into the kitchen, and that’s when he finally found the boy. Tyler was sitting on the balcony, legs hanging down from the railing. Josh’s heart nearly jumped out. He slowly approached the balcony. He definitely did not want to scare Tyler.

“Uh.. Tyler?” - His voice cracked. Probably because it’s morning right? Not that he was nervous or something. Tyler slowly turned his head around and smiled at Josh.

“Hi,Josh.” - Josh neared the boy and leaned on the railing. He swallowed hard and tried to smile back at him.

“W-What are you doing?”

“Sitting. Thinking.”

“Don’t you think it’s little bit dangerous?”

“You’re scared that I’ll fall down?” - Tyler asked, looking straight into Josh’s eyes. Josh nodded.

“Well..” - Tyler shrugged. “I won’t fall. But I can come down if you want me to..”

“Yes.. Yes that would be nice.”- Josh tried really hard not to sound pathetic. In a second, Tyler appeared near him, standing on his feet now.

“Did something happen last night?” - Tyler asked curiously.

“Uh,no? Why are you asking?” 

Tyler shrugged again. “Just asking.” - He walked into the kitchen.He did not see Josh’s busted lip. How could he not see it? “I wanted to prepare some tea but could not find where you keep your mugs,so..”

“Oh, that’s fine. I’ll prepare it. You can wait for me in the living room.” -Tyler nodded and left the kitchen. Josh sighed, leaning on the kitchen sink. He closed his eyes. Tyler did not remember. In fact, Josh did not want him to remember, did not want Tyler to feel guilty. It took him 20 minutes to prepare tea and finally manage to stop thinking about last night. 

“Ty, you want some cookies?” - He got no response. “Tyler..?” - Silence.  
His heart started to beat faster, he literally run to the living room,dropping one of the mugs to the floor, but he could not care less. Tyler was sitting on the floor, hands clutching on his hair. His eyes shut,hands shaking. Josh approached him, scared to even touch the boy.

“Ty?”

“I remember.” - The boy whispered through the tears. “I remember what I’ve done to you. What he did to you.. I need to.. I need to get out.” - With this words Tyler jumped to his feet, stumbling but keeping his balance. His eyes were wide, tears still streaming down his face.

“Ty. It’s okay. You defeated him. Where are you..” - Josh tried to grab the boy’s arm, but he slipped away.

“No. No I need to get out of here. As far as I can. I don’t want to hurt you. Not anymore.” - Tyler’s words were full of regret. 

“But it was not you, Ty..”

“It was me! Don’t you understand, Josh. Blurryface is me!!” - Tyler shouted. He stormed off the room and the next moment his backpack was already on his back. He put his red beanie on his messy head. Josh tried to approach him, tried to stop the boy, but there was nothing that could stop Tyler right now.

“I am so sorry. Fuck I.. If I only could control it.. I am sorry for you lip and your ribs and.. And your nerves.” - The boy was talking too fast. “Thank you. Nobody has ever looked at me or talked to me like that. Thank you, Josh. I will never forget you, I swear. Thank you..” - With these words Tyler opened the front door and run away, and he did not turn around. Not even once. 

Josh stood there, his mouth hanging open from the shock. Tyler was gone. But Josh wanted to save him, how could he let him go?! He squeezed his fingers around the doorknob from the anger boiling up inside him. He was angry at himself. Angry at Blurry. He was angry that Blurry was right.   
He will always remember Tyler.   
And he will do anything to save the boy from himself.


	5. The ghost of you

Josh was running. He’s been running for almost an hour rain now. It was getting dark and rain has been falling from the sky for the whole evening. But Josh did not care. He run, draping the hood over his head. He run, looking for Tyler around the streets. He screamed, he called his name. He had to find him. Nothing kills man faster than his own head, Josh knew it. He did not want Tyler to be killed by his own head. Blurry face couldn’t win, Josh would not let him. He cursed loudly and stopped for a second, trying to gather up his thoughts. Where could he be? Where would he be hiding? Somewhere safe. Somewhere, where Blurryface, his demon can’t reach him. Josh’s mind lighted up. A church. A demon won’t find him in a church. He run towards the building on the other side of the street. Josh was never the believer one, but this time.. He felt something. It was almost 10 pm, so the church would definitely be closed. But when Josh approached the building and tried the door… It was open. He stepped in, taking off his hood and shaking his head to get rid of raindrops from his hair. Small shimmer coming out of candles was the only light in the church. He looked around, examining every corner. That’s when he heard a quiet sound. Something like a whisper. 

“Tyler?” - Josh whispered too. The sound stopped. “Tyler, is it you?” - Josh took a step forward, but heard a noise somewhere behind his back. He quickly turned around to face nothing. There was nothing. “Ty.. I want to help..” Suddenly, Josh heard footsteps approaching him. His breathing became too rapid, heart was ready to jump out of his chest. The footsteps were approaching, becoming louder and louder. Josh felt his knees getting weaker. His guts twisted. Cold, long fingers locked around his wrist and Josh closed his eyes, getting ready for whatever it was..

“J-Josh?” - A small whisper made it’s way up to Josh’s mind. Tyler. It was Tyler. He snapped his eyes open and turned around to face the boy. There he was. Messy hair sticking out in every direction, eyes bloodshot,lips chapped and faded. Josh grabbed the boy’s hand, afraid to let go, afraid he would disappear on him again.

“Tyler. Oh my.. Ty, it’s you. I’ve found you..” - He locked the boy into his embrace, not caring about anything. So what if he did not even know the boy. So what? He felt Tyler’s shaking fingers clutching on his back. 

“Don’t you dare to leave me again, you hear me Tyler? Don’t you fucking dare..” - Josh was whispering, his hot breath tickling Tyler’s neck. “Let’s go home, Ty. Okay?”

The boy nodded, slowly pulling away. Josh cupped the boy’s face.

“It’s gonna be okay. I promise you. We fight him, together. Me and you. He’s weaker than you think..” - Tyler was looking at him. Huge, sad eyes meeting Josh’s soft ones.  
Josh took the smaller boy's hand in his and leaded the was out of the church. When they stepped out, he looked back to glance at Tyler. He was wearing nothing but a black t-shirt. And it was raining, it was cold outside. 

“Aren’t you cold? Here, take my jacket.” - Josh was just about take his jacket off, but Tyler shook his head quickly and stepped back. Josh knitted his brows together and sighed. “But it’s cold, Ty..” - Tyler stepped back once again. “Okay.. Okay. No jacket.” 

They walked down the street, Josh still holding Tyler’s cold hand. 

“When we get home, I’m going to prepare you a hot chocolate. We need to keep you warm, right?” - Josh wanted to hear Tyler talk, wanted to know he’s okay. But the boy just kept quiet, staring at his feet and stumbling almost every minute. When they finally made it home, Josh sat down Tyler on the couch and covered him with blanket. 

“Wait here..” - He smiled to a boy and went to the kitchen. Again, checking his recipe three times, he finally prepared the drink. He returned to the living room just to find Tyler curled up on the sofa, a blanket covering half of his body. The boy has fallen asleep and Josh was happy with it. Tyler needed to rest, he deserved to get a proper sleep. He crouched near him,adjusted a blanket and stroke the hair away from the boys face. Josh got up and was jut about to leave when he felt a weak grip on his hand. He looked down to meet Tyler’s deep eyes looking up at him.

“Stay.” - The boy mouthed and it sent shiver down Josh’s spine. He nodded. He took off his shoes and laid down beside the smaller boy. Tyler curled up even more, burying his head in Josh’s chest and sighing. Josh wrapped him in his arms and inhaled the vanilla smell of the boy's hair. In a minute both of them were sleeping peacefully.


	6. Goner

He heard a loud scream. Josh looked down at his shaking hands. They were covered with blood. Why were they so bloody? What did he do? He looked around the white room he was in. The walls were painted with bloody fingerprints and handprints. He gasped and jumped to his feet. The screaming was becoming louder, like it was approaching him. Josh wanted to disappear, to stop existing. Shivers were running down his spine. He needed to get out of here. But there was on door. A room with no door. Josh quickly turned around, desperately trying to find anything. A window, anything. What he found was a body lying in the far corner. The boy swallowed heavily as he started to near them. He dropped on his knees when he finally recognized the body. 

“T-Tyler?” - He let out a wet sob and clutched on the boy’s shoulders. “Oh God..” - He whimpered when he saw a pool of blood and a knife near Tyler. He looked down at his hands. “No.. No fuck Ty, hey Tyler open your eyes.” - He started to shake the boy. Suddenly, he heard footsteps behind his back. Josh turned around in a second. There he was. Standing in front of him. Red beanie, a backpack, black hands and neck, red shimmering eyes.

“What have you done Joshua?” - Blurry’s deep voice made Josh’s heart beat faster.

“No. I didn’t do it. I didn’t..”

“Oh, you did.” - Blurry laughed and crouched in front of him, grabbing Josh’s chin and forcing him to look up into his red eyes. “You did it. It is all your fault. This is how it ends. You kill him.”

“No! You’re lying! Get away from me!”

“My name is Blurryface and I care what you think.” - Blurry sang with his deep voice.

“Fuck off! I won’t kill him, I will save him!”

“Josh..”

“NO!”

Somebody grabbed his shoulders and Josh snapped his eyes open. He gasped for a breath and quickly sat up.

“Josh.. Hey, it’s me, you’re okay..” - He felt a warm body hugging him. Everything was still covered with blur. “You had a bad dream, it’s over now.” - The soft voice was whispering soothing words to him. Josh slowly turned his head to a side and met Tyler’s worried eyes.

“Ty..?”

“Yes. Yes it’s me Josh. You scared me, I thought I wouldn’t be able to wake you up..” 

“I’m fine, I’m sorry Ty..” 

“Come here.” - Tyler locked him into his embrace and buried his nose in Josh’s neck. “Did you dream about me?” - he asked quietly.

“I dreamed about you being killed.. I-I killed you.”

“Oh.. Don’t worry. You’re not the one who will kill me.” - Tyler mumbled.

“Tyler? What do you mean?”

“Sleep, Josh. It’s just a dream..” - Josh felt his eyelids becoming too heavy to lift. He wanted to talk, wanted to know what Tyler meant, but couldn’t control himself. He heard Tyler whispering last words before the darkness covered him.

“I will kill myself before anybody else ends me."


	7. Look what you've done

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Tw- a description detailed of a murder and abuse. Stay safe! x

“Joshua William Dun, you never showed up for the dinner yesterday, even though you promised us you would! Explain yourself, mister!”

“Mom, I’m sorry okay? My friend needed me, he was in a big trouble. But I promise I will make it up to you next week, okay?”

“Trouble? What kind of trouble?! Is it about Brendon?! If it involves Urie, it involves drugs!”

“No, mom, no of course! Relax, it’s fine. I promise to come by next week, okay?”

“Fine, Josh. Take care, honey, alright?”

“Yes, ma. Bye, say hi to dad.” - Josh hung up and sighed. He hated when he made his mom worry. But he forgot about the dinner, because he was too busy looking for Tyler in the streets. He looked at the couch, expecting the boy to be still asleep, but Tyler was sitting up at examining his fingers like they were the most interesting thing in the world tight now.

“Hey, Ty. Sorry if I woke you up.” - He approached the boy and sat dow near him. “How are you feeling?”

The boy shrugged and looked up at him. He looked lost.

“Has he been bothering you?” - Josh nodded towards him and Tyler understood what he meant. He nodded slowly. “Can you tell me more about him?”

“Yes.” - Tyler whispered. He crawled out of the blanket and sat near Josh. The other boy interlaced their fingers together and smiled at him.

“It’s okay. I’ve got you. You can stop anytime.”

Tyler swallowed hardly and started to talk.

“He’s been here since I remember myself. He grew up with me. At the start he was just a tiny little voice inside of my head buzzing about how everything feels bad and how he wants to die. But I ignored it. It’s easy to ignore things like that when you’re little. But then he grew and it became unbearable. Eventually, my family decided I was too dangerous for them. For my siblings. So they,uh.. They sent me to live with my uncle. He lived alone in the small town near Columbus. First it was..okay. Blurry was still there, but at least I knew my family was safe from me. But then.. My uncle, he started to drink. Heavily. And he,uh..” - Tyler’s voice cracked, so he cleared his throat. Josh squeezed his hand. “He started to beat me.Sometimes he locked me up in the basement for days, without food or water, and then finally open the doors when I was barely conscious. And you know what hurt the most? Not the bruises he gave me, not the bitter words he said.. The fact that my family never contacted me.. It was eating out my mind. They never cared, they never loved me. But I don’t blame them. It’s hard to love a phsycopath..”

“Ty, you’re not..”

“Come on, Josh. You know it’s true. So.. One day, when he decided to beat the shit out of me again, Blurryface took the control for the first time. I wanted to stop him but he became too strong. He grabbed the hammer from the shelves and hit my uncle in the head. He killed him.” - Tyler whispered the last words. “I killed him.. By the time the police came, Blurry was already gone. They called it a self-defense, because of all the bruises on my body. They sent me to the clinic for one year. Blurryface never left my side. Never.. When they let me out, I decided to move out of the town,out of the state. I had nothing with me. No money, no car. I started to work in the coffee shop and found a shitty apartment. And since then, everyday, I feel Blurry becoming more and more powerful. So here I am now. He can take control over me anytime he wants to..”

Josh sat there, eyes never leaving Tyler’s face as the boy spoke. His heart sank, guts twisted. He wanted to hug the boy and never let him go. He wanted to crawl inside his mind and beat the shit out of Blurryface. 

“I understand if you want me to leave now..” - Tyler’s weak voice snapped him out of his thoughts. 

“No. No Ty, I want you stay with me. I want you to let me in, let me help you.” - Josh cupped the boy’s face. “It’s me and you against him..”

Tyler smiled at him. Josh has never seen a smile more beautiful than this. Little dimples appeared on the boy’s face and something in Josh’s body screamed. Was he falling in love? Could it be happening? He cleared his throat and shook these thoughts away from his head.

“Do you feel like he’s going to take control?”

“Yes, I do.. Not always, but sometimes I feel it, somehow inside of my brain, it’s signaling me. Something like “Get ready. The other pilot is going to gain a control of this vessel.” - He laughed quietly. 

Vessel. This is how Blurryface called Tyler’s body. Maybe, he and Tyler had something in common. 

“Will you tell me when you feel it’s going to happen?” 

“Okay..” -Tyler nodded. “Thank you,Josh.”

“For what, Ty?”

“I don’t know. Nobody has ever cared, you know..”

Josh smiled and hugged the smaller boy. He cared, how could he not care?!

__

It was getting dark and Josh decided to watch some stupid soap-operas with Tyler. They laughed their guts out for the whole episode. But some time ago, Tyler became unbearable quiet and Josh wanted to know why. But he did not ask. He gave Tyler some space. 

“Josh.” - Tyler suddenly spoke up. The other boy paused the tv-show and looked at him.

“Finally. I thought you forgot how to talk.” - Josh smiled at him.

“Josh..” - Tyler repeated, he looked scared. Josh’s smile dropped and he grabbed Tyler’s hand, searching for his eyes, but the boy looked away.

“Ty?”

“He’s coming.” - Josh’s insides twisted. He let go of Tyler’s hand without realizing it. Tyler moved away to the forest corner of the couch and curled up.

“It’s okay. You can fight him, Ty. Remember that night, when you fought him? You were so strong..” - Josh did not know what to do. Tyler clutched on his hair and cursed quietly.

“Come on, Ty. you can do it, I believe in you..”

“Shut up!!” - Tyler shouted, covering his ears with his hands. Josh froze. “Shut up, shut up shut up! Leave me alone!!” - Josh realized Tyler was not talking to him. “Please..” - Tyler sobbed violently. But then,suddenly, he stopped. Not even a sound escaped his mouth. Josh stared, not managing to move. Tyler lifted his head up slowly and looked at Josh.

“Fuck.” - Josh cursed as he saw red eyes swirling holed in his chest.

“Hello to you too, rude boy.” - A deep voice said. Blurry laughed. 

“What do you want?”

“I’ve heard Tyler told you our story. I just wanted to add some details. You know, to fill the gaps.” - He laughed maniacally. Blurryface neared Josh slowly. “One little details our Ty doesn’t know about. Wanna hear it?”

Josh nodded.

“See, Tyler’s family always cared about him. In fact, he was their favorite son. But well, I made his life too hard for him, I admit. “ - Blurry smiled. “I’ve always hated his mother. She was just.. too nice, you know? And his father, oh that man. He was a definition of perfect husband and a parent. His siblings.. Jay,Zack and Maddie. They adored Tyler. That’s why it felt so good to finally get rid of them.”

Josh felt his blood stopping. No, this could not be the truth. He was lying.

“Yeah. Tyler’s family did not contact him because they were long dead, not because they did not care. I killed them. All of them. With an axe from Josephs’ basement. One by one. It felt good, I’ve got to admit.” - He laughed again. Blurry stood up and paced around the room. “So now, Joshie. You know the truth. The one Tyler does not know. You decide what to do. Bury it deep inside, or tell him. It’s up to you.”

“You’re lying. This is a lie.” - Josh managed to whisper.

“You think, Josh?” - Blurry smirked. No, Josh did not think so.

“Tell Tyler I said hi.” - With these words, his red eyes started to shift back to the brown. Josh appeared near the boy in a second, catching his limp body and sinking down to his knees. He felt tears coming down on his cheeks. 

“It’s okay, Ty.. I’m here..” - He whispered quietly as he locked the unconscious boy in his arms.

What was he going to do now?


	8. Leave me alone

Josh has not slept for a long time. He was thinking, processing. He was trying to find a way out. Tyler killed his family. Well, Blurryface did, but Josh had a hard time finding a difference between Tyler and his demon these days. Why? Because one day Tyler would wake Josh up, prepare him a breakfast and sing him beautiful melodies, and in the evening of the same day Josh would save Tyler from hanging himself. It was a cycle that had no end. The truth would destroy the boy. But Tyler was already destroyed. 

Josh was sitting on the couch, staring on the blank wall in front of him when Tyler walked in, humming a soft melody. 

"Jish, you okay?" - His quiet voice snapped the other boy out of his thoughts.

"Hey. Yes,yes Ty. I'm fine." - Josh tried to smile. "How are you?"

Tyler shrugged and crashed down on the couch near his friend. 

"Fine, I guess."

"You don't look fine." - Josh stated.

"I've been thinking too much. But I'm okay, really." - Tyler smiled and his dimples lighted up Josh's world. "You hungry?"

"A little."

"Let's order a pizza. I'll get my phone." - Tyler stood up and disappeared in his room. 

Josh had a really hard time with his role. He could never tell Tyler the truth about his past, his family. So he had to pretend he knew nothing. And it hurt. It hurt to lie to Tyler, it hurt to see Tyler's face everyday and hide the most important secret in his life. But the truth would hurt. The truth would kill him. And Josh would not be able to save the boy this time.

Josh realized Tyler has been gone for at least 10 minutes now. He stood up and slowly approached the bedroom.

"Ty..?" - The door was not closed. Josh walked in and found Tyler standing in the middle of the room, holding a piece of paper in his shaking hands and staring down at it. "Ty, you okay?"

Tyler did not even stir. He continiued to look down at the paper. Josh neared him.

"Tyler.." - Suddenly, the boy's eyes flew up and locked on Josh's concerned ones. He looked.. Lost? "Say something, please.." - Josh begged. 

Tyler handed him a paper, his eyes never leaving Josh's face. Josh took it. It was a piece of a newspaper. There was a photo of a beautiful house with a huge yard. Josh knitted his brows together and read an article. That's when he felt his world crashing down on him. "Joseph's family murdered in cold blood. No evidence was found. One of the sons, the main suspect is still missing." 

Josh wanted to disappear. He turned the paper around to see a writing made with a red sharpie. "TIM E HAS RUNO UT, JOS H. THE TRU TH ISO UT."

A paper fell down from his trembling hands. Josh looked up to look at Tyler. The boy was still staring at him, no emotion could be read in his eyes. He was numb.

"T-Tyler I.." - Josh's whisper sounded pathetic. He could not find a force to say something. Tyler stared.. "I'm so sorry.." - Was all Josh could manage.

Tyler blinked several times and sank to his knees, his face was still blank. Josh run to him and kneeled, cupping the boy's face. 

"Ty, look at me." - Tyler's eyes were unfocused. gaze was lost somewhere. "It is not your fault. I am sorry I did not tell you. I.. I could not.. Tyler, fuck.." - He did not know what to say. What could he say? How can you save somebody from their mind after something like this?

Tyler's eyes finally found Josh's face. 

"What have I done?" - He whispered.

"No. No, Tyler it was not you. Hey, look at me. It was not you, okay?"

"What have I done.."

"It was him. He used you. Tyler, I am so sorry,shit.. I know it hurts, I know it destroyed you,but.."

"Leave me alone." - Tyler whispered, looking at Josh.

"What?" - Josh whimpered, he could stop the tears streaming down his face. "Tyler, don't. Let me stay with you, I beg you."

"Leave me alone." - A whisper repeated. 

Josh understood. He knew Tyler needed to be alone. But he was afraid to leave him.

"I'm not going anywhere. I'll leave you in this room alone. But I will sit behind the door, okay?"

Tyler blinked.

"Okay.." - Josh mumbled and place a kiss on the boy's forehead. "Whenever you're ready. Knock on the door. I will appear near you in a second. I won't leave you, Tyler. So please.." - Josh let out a wet sob. "Don't leave me. Don't take your life away from me."

Tyler did not respond. Josh quietly walked out of the room, shutting the door behind his back. Josh slid down the wall and waited. Tyler was quiet, not even a sound escaped the room. Josh sobbed, he cried, he screamed but he waited. Waited for Tyler to knock.

 

After 6 hours, Tyler knocked one time.


	9. Can you save my

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This is short, but ugh

Josh expected to see a mess when he entered a room. He expected to see Tyler destroyed, curled up on the floor and bawling his eyes out. He expected Tyler to be clutching on the ashes of the memories of his family, crying,sobbing and begging for forgiveness. What he did not expect was to see the boy sitting in the middle of the room and smiling up at him. Josh sniffled quietly, wiped his tear paths with the sleeve and crouched near Tyler. He was grinning widely.

"Ty?" - Josh touched the boy's shoulder. Tyler tried to stop a laugh escaping his mouth, but failed.

"Th-They never left me." - He said, still laughing. This was wrong. Josh knew this was wrong. It was worse than seeing Tyler break down.

"Ty, look at me." - Josh touched his cheek and tried to calm hysterical Tyler, but the boy laughed even harder, tears were now streaming down his face. His hands were shaking violently. Josh was scared. Once again Tyler scared the hell out of him and he did not know what to do. "You need to calm down, Tyler.." - He tried to control his voice, but it still cracked. Tyler fell to the floor with his back, his hysterical laughs were filling up the house. His hands flew up to his face and he started to scratch himself, uncontrollably. 

"Stop, Tyler!" - Josh pinned his hands, but Tyler pushed him away. He clutched on his hair and screamed, half-laughing and half-crying. Josh was unable to move, he was staring at the boy emotionally dying in front of him. "Tyler, please.." - He whispered and doubted his pathetic sound even reached the boy. 

Tyler was screaming, his voice was already hoarse, veins on his throat looked like they were going to explode. But Tyler screamed, and screamed, and screamed. The laughing was gone now, only wet, ugly sobs were escaping his lungs. He scratched his face, blood was dripping from his cheeks and chin. He bawled and kicked and cried. For a second, he locked his eyes on Josh. And Josh got scared Tyler would hurt him. For the first time, he got scared for himself, not for Tyler. But after a moment he felt guilty for it. Tyler saw the fear in his eyes, he saw Josh was scared of him. He stopped suddenly, tears were still sliding down his face but the screaming stopped. He covered his face with his palms.

"I-I scared you. I am a-a monst-ter. I became a B-Blurryface." - He whimpered and Josh's heart broke,once again. He crawled near Tyler, and locked him into his embrace, resting his chin above the boy's messy hair.

"You are not him. I am not scared, Tyler. I am here, and you are here. You are not a monster, you never were." - He rocked them back and forth, tears were falling down on Tyler's hair but he could not care less. "Thank you for not leaving me." - Josh looked at the windows, he was scared he would find Tyler jumping out from one of them. "Thank you for knocking and letting me in. I don't know how to help you, Ty.. I look at you, I feel useless and I want to die.." - Josh knew he was being selfish, but he did not give a fuck. He needed Tyler to know how he felt. He heard the other boy mumble something in a response. Tyler's face was buried in his chest. Josh listened. Tyler was humming.. Singing? 

Tyler was singing. 

"N-Now the night-t is coming to an en-nd..The S-Sun will rise, and w-we will tr-ry again.." - Tyler sang, his voice shaking along with his weak body in Josh's strong arms. "Stay alive, stay alive.. For me." - Josh felt his insides twist, heart burn. Tyler was singing to him. He was asking him to stay alive. Now, when his own world got destroyed, he still begged Josh to stay alive. For him. "You will d-die.. But now your life is f-free.. Take pride in what is..sure..to..die.." - His voice broke, eyes shut down and his body became too heavy and limp. Josh kissed his hair and hugged him even harder. 

You can't save somebody from their own mind.

You can't save somebody from their own demons.

But Josh had to try harder. For Tyler. 

He needed to save his heavy,dirty soul.


	10. Open up your eyes and see

"Aren't you scared of me,Josh?"

Tyler was sitting on the window frame,fingers hugging a mug full of hot tea. His head's been hurting for two hours now, so he was wearing a grey beanie over his messy hair. Josh's hoodie was obviously too big for him, it was hanging down from his thin shoulders. Tyler looked small,fragile. Even his voice was fragile.

"What do you mean?" - Josh shifted in his place on the couch and faced Tyler.

"You know what I am capable of. Aren't you scared of me hurting you?" - Tyler was looking out of the window,avoiding Josh's eyes.

"No. I am not. And you're not capable of hurting people. Blurryface is."

"I am Blurryface,Josh." - Tyler finally looked at him. Josh swallowed hardly.

"You are Tyler. The most beautiful person I've ever met. So no, I am not scared of you."

"Thanks." - Tyler whispered, but loud enough for Josh to hear.

"Want some more tea?"

"Yeah. Yeah that'd be great."

Josh was getting used to living with Tyler. Even though they never really had a talk about them moving in together, it just happened. Tyler needed Josh and, for some reason, Josh needed him too. He needed to see Tyler's thin sillhouete moving around the house, he needed to see the boy's dimples every time he cracked a stupid joke. He needed to burst into the bedroom at 4 a.m. to calm Tyler down from his nightmare and steady his breathing. He needed him, so he was not going to let him go. Especially now, when they both knew Tyler had no one except Josh.

He filled Tyler's mug with a hot drink and handed him a cup.

"Tell me something about yourself." - Josh said after sipping his own tea. Tyler's brows knitted.

"What do you want to know?"

"Anything,Ty. What do you like to do?"

"Well..I like music. Listening, playing, creating music..Piano for example."

"Seriously? You play the piano?"

"Yeah." - Tyler shrugged.

"And you write your own songs? I'm impressed. You have to play for me."

"You don't have a piano,Josh." - Tyler looked around, like he was checking if Josh had an instrument.

"Do you own one?" - Josh asked.

"Yeah, back at home."

"That's it. We're going to your home and you're gonna play for me." - Josh jumped to his feet.

"I-uh.. Josh are you sure?" - Tyler looked confused.

"Of course. Why wouldn't I be?"

"My place it's.. It's nothing like yours. It's dark and..empty."

"I want to know where you live, Ty." - Josh neared the boy and cupped his face. "But if it makes you uncomfortable I.."

"No,no. It's fine. Let me just grab my jacket." - Tyler smiled to him.

__

The minute the door revealed Tyler's apartment Josh understood what the boy meant when he said his home was dark and empty. There was literally not even a spark of light coming in from the windows. Thick, grey curtains were closed. Tyler leaded him into the living room, which apparently was a bedroom too, because there was a messy bed in the middle of the room instead of a couch. A TV was covered in dust,meaning Tyler had not even touched it for a long time. Cans of Red Bull were lying on the floor and Josh managed to trip somehow on one of them. Tyler apologized for the mess. Three times already. Josh finally spotted a keyboard in the corner of the room and his eyes lighted up. He approached the instrument, which was also covered in dust. For some reason, it broke his heart. It meant Tyler was lying in his bed, for days, doing nothing but staring at these walls and thinking his mind away. Tyler neared Josh and put his slender,shaking finger on one of the notes. The sound flew around the small house in a second. Josh looked up at him.

"You okay?"

"Yeah. I haven't played for anyone,ever. So.." - Tyler cleared his throat and tried to smile. He sat down on the floor, adjusting keyboard to his heigh and sighed. "It's just something that's been living in my mind for a while, so I decided to transfer it into the music. I don't even know.." - He was anxious, Josh felt it with his bones. So he sat down beside him and put one of his hands on the boy's knee.

"I want to hear it. I want to hear you,Ty."

Tyler nodded and breathed in, pushing the notes on the keyboard. The soft melody danced around Josh's mind and he realized he had never heard anything like this. The beautiful sound was stroking his brain, literally. After a while Tyler started to sing. His voice shaking, eyes closed. Josh's heart was going to jump out of his chest. Tyler's cracked voice broke everything inside of him. The words hurt his chest. Josh felt tears gathering up in his eyes.

"Open the slits in your face and start your day  
You don't have much time to make your slits look just right  
I'm in your mind  
I'm singing  
I'm in your mind  
I'm singing la-da la-da la-da...

Look in the mirror and ask your soul if you're alright  
Put on the glitter that your soul hides behind  
You're in my mind  
I'm singing  
You're in my mind  
I'm singing la-da la-da la-da..."

Tyler stopped and the flat drowned in the silence. Tears were still sliding down Josh's cheeks as he stared at Tyler, unable to produce any sound. He just stared, swirling holes in the boy's chest. Tyler scratched his neck and laughed quietly.

"I know it sucks. It just helps me,you know? And not many things help me. Music does. And uh.. You do too. You help me.. " - Josh cut off Tyler's mumbling, locking his lips on the boy's chapped,faded ones. It took second for Tyler to respond with even more passion. He ran his trembling hands through Josh's faded pink locks and moaned quietly, forcing Josh's jeans to become tighter than they actually were. They kissed, in almost complete darkness, silently, literally clutching onto each other. Josh was first to pull away. He could not manage to steady his breathing.

"I,uh.. Sorry, I.."

"Shh.." - Tyler whispered. "Thank you."

Josh's head was spinning.

"Thank me?"

"For caring. Thank you." - Tyler rested his head on boy's shoulder and breathed out.

"Ty?"

"Hm?"

"He's not going to win. I'm not going to let him take you away from me."


	11. Save

Josh was walking his way back home after work. He’s been thinking too much lately. About Tyler, about the kiss, about everything in general.Ever since the mysterious boy walked into his life, everything has changed. For example, he stopped drinking too much coffee because he needed to sleep well, he promised Tyler he would. He quitted smoking, because Blurryface loved the smell of cigarettes. He became dependent on Tyler, could not take a step without him and, for some reason, it made Josh happy. The pink-haired boy pulled down his beanie,hiding his curls and hugged himself. The weather was getting too cold, snowflakes were falling down on his face and he still did not own a proper warm jacket. Josh quickly run up the stairs and opened the front door with shaking hands.

“Ty, I’m home!” - He shouted and kicked off his boots. “Hell, I’m freezing.” - He mumbled but got no response from the other boy. He was probably sleeping. He made his way to the living room. The tv was on, showing some stupid reality show, but the couch in front of it was empty. Josh peeked into the bedroom and finally spotter Tyler on the bed, sitting with his legs crossed. He was facing the other way,staring at the window.

“Ty,you okay?” - Josh slowly approached him.

“Yeah. M’fine.” - Tyler mumbled,still not turning around to face Josh. Something was wrong.

“Can you look at me?” - Josh asked.

“I said I’m fine, for God’s sake. Leave me alone.” - Tyler laid down on his bed.

“Okay.. Okay Ty. I’ll be in the kitchen if you need me.” - Josh turned around and was just about to leave the room when he heard Tyler mumble something. He concentrated and realized it was not a mumbling. It was a laugh. Quiet,monotone laugh.

“Oh,shit..” - Josh whispered and clutched on Tyler’s shoulders,forcing him to turn around and face him.

Red, glowing eyes and dark smile shimmered up at him. Josh pulled away and took a few steps back.

-“You’re so easy to foo, Joshie.” - Blurryface murmured and laughed. His deep voice dent shivers down the boy’s spine. “I know what you two have been up to. Kissing, sharing stories,cuddling. Seems like you forgot about me.” - Blurry stopped laughing, his face was dead serious now, even angry. “But you can’t forget me. I won’t let you.” He got up from the bed and slowly approached shaking Josh. He cupped the boy’s face with his cold hands and smiled at him. “Oh, why are you scared of me, Josh?”

“I am not.” - Josh spitted out. Blurry bent his head to the side like a curious child.

“Aren’t you? Then.. Why do I smell the fear running through your veins?”

“I’m not scared of you. I’m scared for Tyler.” - The boy admitted. His voice sounded too pathetic.

“You’re afraid to lose your precious Tyler. Well, what can I say… He gets annoying sometimes. Fighting and trying to get rid of me. You know what’s funny, Josh? He became vulnerable after he met you. These.. Feelings.. “ - He hissed. “They’re helping me to defeat Tyler. So I have to thank you. You’ve made him weak..”

“Why don’t you just kill me?! Why do you keep appearing and talking to me?!” - Josh snapped and pushed Blurryface, causing him to tumble and nearly fall on his back. But the demon looked up at him and grinned even wider.

“Don’t you get it? I like torturing Tyler. He hated when i’m alone with you. He screams,kicks,shouts inside of me. And I watch. I like the show.. I will kill you, don’t worry. But not yet. Right now, I want to have some fun…” Blurry approached a wooden desk, grabbed a sharpened pencil and started twisting it around his long, slender fingers.

“What fun?!”

“Follow me.” - The taller boy walked out of the room. “Here’s what we’ll do, j.” - He stepped into the kitchen and neared a stand with knives. “First.. Take a knife. The biggest, sharpest one..” - He leaned on the kitchen table and smiled maniacally. Josh swallowed hardly and shook his head.

“No.”

Blurry sighed and pointed the sharpened pencil to the boy.

“It’s you..” - He slowly turned the pencil around and was now pointing at himself. “Or your Tyler.”

“What?!”

“You take a knife and do whatever the hell I tell you to.. Or.. I dig that knife into your boyfriend’s stomach and cut his guts. Your choice.”

Josh felt his insides twist. Blurryface was playing with him. But he could not let him hurt Tyler. So he slowly pulled ow the huge knife with his shaking hands and looked down at it.

“What do you want me to do?” - He whispered.

“Lick it. And make it bloody.” - Blurry ordered. His voice, cold and sharper than knife. Josh lifted the knife and parted his lips, licking the freezing metal. “You look good, Joshie. But not good enough.” - With these words Blurry grabbed the knife from Josh’s hand and pressed the blade to the boy’s cheek. “You have a beautiful crimson blood,honey. I remember it suited you one.” - The sharp pain cut into Josh’s brain and soon he felt a war blood dropping down on the kitchen piles. Blurryface was cutting his cheek,slowly.. “Look at yourself.. Beautiful.”

“Please.. Let him go..” I’ll do whatever you ask.” - Josh begged. Blurry stopped suddenly, dropping the knife from his hands. He looked at the boy, eyes wide and insane, lips extended in a smile.

“Whatever you ask?” - He hissed.

Josh nodded, still not breaking an eye contact with him.

“If I promise you to free Tyler, to leave him alone, forever.. Would you do something for me?” - Blurry arched his brows.

“What?”

“Would you kill yourself?”

Josh felt his lungs crashing. He should have seen this coming. His knees became too weak suddenly and he fell down on the cold kitchen floor, gasping for a breath.

“Knew it.” - Blurry’s lips twitched from a disgust. Josh looked up at him. 

For a moment, he remembered Tyler’s smile. His dimples, crooked teeth and pointy nose. He remembered Tyler’s laugh, voice when he sang to Josh, his touch..

“Yes. Yes I would..” - He whispered. Blurry’s eyes lighted up. He threw his head back and laughed.

“You’re braver than I imagined, Joshua Dun.” - He murmurred. He traced the blood paths won Josh’s cheek with his frozen fingers and licked the blood from them afterwards. “I will come back for it. And I will set Tyler free, I promise. Oh and yes, Tyler will remember every detail of this conversation. I won’t make him forget.” - He smiled one last time before twitching his head to the side. Red, crimson eyes became chocolate-brown again and Tyler fell into Josh’s arms. Josh sniffed and wiped the blood with a sleeve of his hoodie, holding Tyler with other arm.

“I’m.. So..Sorry..” - Tyler whispered.

“Shh.. It’s okay..”

“I..Won’t let you..” - Tyler said before passing out.

Josh knew he would not let him kill himself for Tyler. But the thing was, Josh did not care.


	12. But tonight you belong to me

"I love rain. Don't you,Josh?"

Tyler was sitting on the floor in front of the window, street lights were shimmering on his face. He've been staring out at the rain for over an hour now. Josh sat down beside him and locked his fingers with Tyler's cold, slender ones.

"I do, yes."

"It feels like the rain is washing away all the sorrow from this sad planet. It gives a chance for the fresh start." - Tyler turned his head and faced Josh. "I love fresh starts."

Blurry hasn't showed up for almost a week. Josh knew he was just waiting for the perfect time to appear and destroy everything around him. Tyler has not said a word about his demon and it worried Josh more than anything. Tyler behaved like nothing happened. 

"Has he been bothering you?" - Josh finally asked and put his index finger to his temple. 

"No." - Tyler answered quietly. He smiled at Josh and his dimples made Josh forget the rest of the world once again.

"You know, I'm really glad I met you, Ty."

"I'm a walking catastrophe, J. But thanks. I am glad too." - Tyler hided his hands in the front pocket of his hoodie and sighed. "Sometime I wish I'd never been born at all." - He hummed.

"Tyler, don't say that!" - Josh exclaimed, his eyes going wide. Tyler giggled quietly and looked up at him.

"J, I've just quoted the Queen song, don't be silly." - He rested his head on Josh's shoulder and rubbed his little,pointy nose on the boy's neck. Tyler's hot breath sent shivers down Josh's spine.

"Ty.." - He whispered. Tyler sat up and looked him in the eyes. Josh could swear they were the most beautiful shade of brown he has ever seen.

"Yes?" - Tyler mouthed, millimeters were separating their faces. 

"I think I'm falling in love with you." - Josh said quietly. Tyler stayed silent.

"I'm so sorry for that.." - Tyler whispered back finally. He stared for a minute at Josh, then got up and left the room quietly.

Josh felt like it was raining on his heart.

__

Josh switched off the lights in the kitchen and the living room,grabbed a towel and was just about to go to bed (Couch, actually. He decided it'd better to sleep separately from Tyler today). Emotions have been drained from him. Tyler did not love him back, and it hurt. It fucking hurt. He walked past the bedroom door when he heard a soft sniffle. His heart missed a beat and his hands automatically turned the door knob, without knocking or saying anything. He saw Tyler curled up on the bed, blankets covering his shivering body. Quiet, wet sobs were filling up the room. The towel fell from Josh's hands as he neared the boy and sat beside him on the bed.

"Ty, hey, look at me. What hurts? Is it Blurry?!" - He rambled nervously, his hands were clutching on Tyler's t-shirt. The other boy hided his face under the blanket and shook his head.

"I-It's not him.. It's m-me.." - He whispered. 

"What happened,Ty?" 

"I'm s-scared."

"Com here.."- Josh pulled him into his lap and stroke the hair away from the boy's face. - "Scared of what?"

"You. Me. I'm scared of this f-feeling you give me.." - Tyler sobbed. 

"Oh,Ty.." - Josh wiped the tear-paths on Tyler's face with his thumb and smiled down at him. "Don't be scared,you know I've got you."

"You don't understand.. I-I can't.. He won't let me.. I will leave soon.. I don't have much t-time.."

"Tyler, what are you talking about?" - Josh knitted his brows together. 

"I don't have much time left..I don't have much time left.." - The boy repeated again and again, his breathing steadied now but he continued to whispered these words until his eyelids became too heavy for him to lift.

"You can't leave me." - Josh said quietly,when Tyler finally calmed down.

"J?"

"Yes,Ty?"

"Stay with me tonight?"

"Yes.. Yes,of course." - Josh took of his hoodie crawled under the blanket as the other boy buried his face in Josh's chest.

"I've already fallen in love with you,Josh.. And I don't think I can crawl out." - Tyler mumbled and closed his eyes, second after Josh felt his calm breathing on his skin. 

The rain has stopped.


	13. Détruis moi

A beautiful melody crawled up inside his mind, stroking messy thoughts and the biggest fears. Josh slowly disconnected his eyelashes and breathed in. Soft notes were coming from the bedroom, were they settled Tyler's keyboard the other day. But Tyler hadn't even touched it since then. But now, he was playing a quiet, slow music and it made Josh's head spin. He got up from the couch that he fell asleep on two hours ago and approached the bedroom door, feeling still dizzy from the sleep. The pink-haired boy leaned on the doorframe, looking at Tyler. The room was covered dark, but the Moon was lighting it just a little, so Josh could see the other boy's silhouette, but not his face or any details. He saw how Tyler's slender fingers were sliding on the keyboard and he wanted to melt down into the pathetic puddle of admiration. 

Suddenly, the soft melody grew into something more aggressive,loud,sharp even. Josh's heart missed a beat. It still sounded beautiful but it was much angrier,full of emotions. Even the way Tyler moved has changed. He twitched from time to time, his hands started to shake. Josh wanted to approach him, lock him into his embrace and ask what's wrong, but he just stood there, staring. That's when he noticed that the boy's hands were covered in something dark. The moonlight did not give him a chance to see what color or substance was. A shaking, sad voice escaped Tyler's lips and Josh gasped quietly.

"I know you're not a liar

And I know you could set fire

This day

Go ahead and make me look away

Strike me down

I am calling your lightning

Down from your dark hiding place

Go ahead and show me

Your face"

Josh finally swallowed the anxiety rising up in him and took a few steps to approach Tyler, but stopped when the Tyler quietly sang following words .

" Reign down  
And destroy me

Reign down  
And destroy me

Reign down.."

Josh registered Tyler's singing grew into screaming,his voice breaking from the pain. He quickly made his was to the boy and kneeled beside him. Seemed like Tyler did not even see him coming, he continued to scream out the words and play the melody. Josh cupped his face and tried to look him into the eyes, but Tyler squeezed his eyes shut. 

"Tyler, open your eyes." - He said quietly. The other boy stopped playing, his hands fell down to his lap, his body was trembling. He slowly opened his eyes, blinking several times and trying to focus on Josh's face. He finally met the hazel-brown eyes full of concern. "Hey.." - Josh whispered, his hands moving to Tyler's wrists. He felt something sticky and remembered the boy's hands were covered in something. He looked down. His eyes went wide, lungs ached and heart jumped.

"Tyler!" - He gasped and jumped to his feet, letting go of the boy's hands. His own palms and fingers were now covered in dark, warm liquid. "Tyler, what did you do?!" - His voice cracked. He grabbed boy's forearm and dragged him to the bathroom,Tyler stumbled on every step. Josh switched the lights on when they entered and looked down. He couldn't stop a whimper escaping his mouth. Blood was dripping down from Tyler's wrists to the bathroom piles. There were two deep,long cuts on both of the hands.

"Oh my God.." - Josh tried really hard not to throw up. He grabbed the towel from a hanger and tried to wrap it around Tyler's wounds, but his hands were shaking too hard. He looked up to meet Tyler's eyes. They were unfocused and blank. 

"Tyler.Ty,look at me,hey!" - Josh pushed Tyler's shoulder slightly, but suddenly the other boy sank down to his knees, bringing Josh down with him. 

"He was.. going to come and.. kill you.. I felt him and.. he did not expect me to do this.." - Tyler whispered and gave Josh a weak smile.

"Oh fuck.." - Josh pulled out the phone from his pocket and dialed 911. He quickly mumbled the address and hang up as soon as the woman on the other line told him that the help was on it's way. He dropped the phone on the floor and cupped Tyler's face, who was barely conscious now. 

"Stay with me, don't close your eyes, Tyler!" - Josh shouted. He squeezed the grip on the boy's wrists. He felt Tyler's body becoming limper and weaker and his eyes were closed now.

"No, don't you dare to do this to me,don't you fucking dare to leave me!" - Josh was sobbing violently, clutching on Tyler's body. "Please, Ty.. Please stay alive." - He whispered and kissed Tyler's messy hair. There was a bloody mess all around the bathroom floor. Josh knew he could do nothing but wait for the help. 

So he waited.. 

Paramedics had to literally push him away from Tyler when they arrived. Josh doesn't remember the rest.


	14. Don't let me be gone

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> short chapter, but fluffy, i guess?

Josh's been waiting in the hospital room for too long now. He lost a track of time, he did not know wether it was a day or night, but he felt it was getting too long. None of the doctors paid any kind of attention to him. Nobody said anything about Ty. How was he? Was he okay? Was he..live? Josh felt numbness and emptiness in his chest. His mind was getting numb too. He started to forget things. Did he eat anything today? What's his phone number? What's his aunt's name? 

He saw a silhouette wearing a hospital-blue uniform approaching him. He flew up to his feet, his head was spinning.

"Are you with.." - The woman looked down at the papers. "Tyler Robert Joseph?"

Josh nodded quickly. 

"He is stable for now. He lost a lot of blood, but not a fatal amount. You called just in time,honey. He needs to rest, but if you're family - you can see him."

"Yes. Yes he is my brother." 

Woman looked at him, definitely not believing his bullshit, but still handed him a paper to sign and leaded the way to Tyler ward. Josh stepped in and heard the lady shutting the door behind him. He neared the bed and looked down an the broken boy lying there. He could not control a quiet sob escaping his mouth.

Tyler was pale. His eyes had a blackness underneath them,his lips were chapped and faded and his hair was messy. He looked wrecked, but still was amazingly beautiful and stunning. This horrible blue color did not suit him,though. Josh wished he could lift him up and carry him home, wrap in the blankets and never let go. The boy sat down on the chair beside Tyler's bed and laced his fingers with Ty's frozen ones. He accidentally touched a bandage wrapped around smaller boy's wrist and something inside of him broke,again. He sighed and connected his lips with Tyler's fingers.

"Hey there." - He whispered. Tyler's eyes were closed, he probably would not hear his pathetic whisper. "You don't look really good. But I still like you." - Josh laughed quietly. At himself, probably. "You've scared me, Ty. I though I.." - He cleared his throat and blinked the tears away. "I can't lose you to him. Not now, not when I.. Oh, f-fuck, this is harder than I've imagined." - Josh sniffled. He felt Tyler's hand gripping on his. Josh's eyes shot up and he was met with warm but sad eyes.

"H-Hey Jish." - Tyler smiled up at him. It was the most broken smile Josh has ever seen.

"Ty, you're awake!" - Josh stated the fact. "How.. How are you?"

Tyler did not answer, he continued to stare at him with his huge, brown eyes.

"Don't you dare to ever.. Try this again." - Josh mumbled. He saw tears sliding down the other boy's face.

"I am so sorry.." - Tyler whispered and closed his eyes. "I don't want to fall away."

"No,no. Don't be, Ty. I've got you, I won't let you fall."

Tyler clutched on his hand. Josh understood what this meant. He stood up, throwing away a jacket and kicking off his boots. Josh crawled up on the bed and laid down beside him. Tyler curled up in a ball, his head resting on the boy's chest. Josh locked him into his embrace and kissed his muffled hair.

"I've got you, baby boy."

Josh hear Tyler's quiet sobs and sniffles. They continued for what felt like 20 minutes. Then he felt Tyler's breath steading and slowing down. He was falling asleep. 

"J?"

"Yeah?"

"I love you."


	15. Let's hurt tonight

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> i finally came up with an idea how to end this fic!! and it will make you cry :)

Josh was sitting in the dark room,listening to the soft sounds of Tyler’s breathing. Doctors released the boy after he refused to accept the psychotherapist’s help. And now, they were home, finally, after spending days in the hospital. Tyler has been asleep for there hours now and Josh was glad, because at least that's some sleep. His own head’s been going places these days. What would happen if he could not save Tyler? What would he do? How would he continue to live with this burden? Without his Tyler? He felt the other boy tensing and shuffling beside him. 

“You awake,Ty?” - He asked quietly. When he got no response, the boy realized Tyler was sleeping. He relaxed, but suddenly heard quiet, strange whispers escaping Tyler’s mouth. Josh sat up in the bed,knitting his brows.

“What have you done? Oh, you thought you could get rid of me by taking your life? You’re pathetic,worse than I have ever thought. Look at you. Miserable, dark and depressed. You think anybody needs you? You think Joshua needs you?!” - Tyler was whispering, his eyes were shut closed. Josh clutched on his shoulders and shook him.

“Tyler,open your eyes.”

Boy’s eyes flew open,but it only made Josh’s heart drop. Red eyes and cruel smile were glowing up at him.

“You are interrupting us, Joshie.”

“Leave him alone.” - Josh hissed, backing away and getting up from the bed. Blurry stared up at him, still lying on his back.

“Why did you save him?” 

Josh felt the blood boiling up inside of his body.

“Because he doesn’t deserve to die like that. Nobody does.”

“Joshua.” - Blurry sat up and locked his red eyes with Josh’s scared ones. “Tell the fucking truth. You saved because you need him. You selfish dick.” - He spitted and shook his head.

“I saved him because I love him.”

“But you hate me. And Tyler’s death is the only way to get rid of me. Does it mean.. You love him more than you hate me?” - Blurry’s serious voice was sending shivers down the boy’s spine. 

“Yes.” - Josh nodded. Blurry’s face twitched fro the disgust. 

“I can change that.” - He said. The demon suddenly got up from the bed and slowly approached Joshua. The boy tensed and his breath hitched as the demon’s face stopped a few inches away from his own. Josh felt Blurry's breath on his skin. “I can make you hate me so much, you won’t even stand Tyler’s sight.” - The creature hissed.

“Why do you want me to hate you, Blurry?” - Josh asked, not expecting his voice to be so confident. It took Blurry by surprise.He blinked several times and looked down at his feet.

“Because I deserve it.” - Blurry shrugged.

“Why won’t you let me love you?” - Josh asked quietly and saw Blurry’s eyes filling up with bitter tears. The demon looked up at him. His red eyes were beautiful and intimidating at the same time.

“I don’t deserve to be loved.”

“Everyone deserves to be loved.” - Josh touched Blurry’s cheek, but the demon took a step back and pulled away.

“Don’t. Touch. Me.” - He hissed. Josh realized it’s been a while since anyone has touched Blurryface. He dropped his hand and sighed.

“I am sorry.”

“Don’t be. You words won’t change anything, Joshua.” - The aggressive tone was back. “I don’t deserve to be loved. I deserve to be hated and scared of. And I want you to feel it. I want fear to fill you up. I want love to leave your heart forever.”

“Love will never leave me.” - Josh spoke back. “My love is big enough for me to fight for. You can’t make it leave. The only thing you can do is accept it.” - Josh neared Blurry. “Accept my love and share it with me. Help me to fall in love with you too.” - He whispered the last words. 

A tiny tear slid down Blurry’s face. His eyes darted from one place to another, avoiding Josh’s gaze. He was lost for words.

“You need somebody to love you..” - Josh said. “Admit it.”

“No!” - Blurry pushed him away and caused Josh to fall down on the floor. “You don’t know anything about me! You may think that these.. Feelings will work out for me but you’re wrong! I am not Tyler, I am not as pathetic as him!”

“You are way more pathetic than anyone I’ve ever seen, Blurry.” - Josh laughed and shook his head. The demon flinched from the nickname. He grabbed a pair of scissors from Josh’s desk and pointed them towards the boy.

“I will kill you.” - He hissed.

“Do it then. Come on, you pussy.” 

Blurryface neared Josh, staring down at him. He was furious, but for some reason, for the first time, Josh was not scared of him. He felt sorry for the demon.

“Don’t be a coward. Kill me already. End it.”

Blurry squeezed scissors with his long fingers. He was shaking. Was he..Scared? Josh closed his eyes. Here it was. The end. He would die from the hands of a demon. The only thing he regretted was the time he couldn’t spend with Tyler. His Tyler. How would Tyler live after his death? Funny, only ten minutes ago it was him thinking about a life without Tyler. 

He heard a loud noise and clattering sound of scissors meeting the floor. Josh’s eyes snapped open just in time to catch falling Tyler.

Blurry left. Blurry did not kill him. 

Blurryface needed his love.


	16. So long and goodnight

"J, I-I need to talk to you.." - Tyler walked into Josh's room,looking worried and sat down on his bed. The other boy sat up, leaning on his elbows. His brows were knitted and with a corner of his eye he checked the time. 4 AM, it was too late for good dreams. So Tyler probably saw another nightmare. 

"Yeah,sure,Ty." - He moved closed to the boy and yawned.

"It's just.. Well.. I-I might know how to get id of Him." - Tyler whispered. Josh's eyes went wide. He grabbed the boy's hand and looked him in the eyes.

"What do you mean?"

"I don't know how to explain it but.. You uh.. You have to kill him." 

"Tyler, I will not hurt you."

"No,no. Not physically. Here." - Tyler put his index finger to his temple. "In my dream. You need to get into my dream."

"How am I supposed to do that?" - Josh's eyebrows raised.

"With his help. He can do.. Incredible stuff, J.." - Josh remembered the dream he had the other night. About killing Tyler..

"Why would he help me?" - He tried to stop thinking about that dream.

"He wants the same. He told me it.. I don't know why.. Maybe.. Maybe because that's the only way you can meet him in person,see what he looks like. Not through my body. Through my dreams."

Josh nodded. 

"When?"

"He will let you know." - With these words, Tyler got up from the bed and walked away, leaving Josh in full darkness. He laid down on his bed and sighed. He was the only one who could save Tyler. He had to do this.

__

 

Josh's been flickering through the channels for almost an hour now. Nothing interesting. Nothing to get his mind away from the real world. He pushed the Off-button and stood up to prepare himself some coffee. He saw Tyler in the hallway and jumped a little.

"God, Tyler, you've scared the shit out of me." - He mumbled, his heart still beating fast.

"Nope, second guess." - Tyler said and Josh knew what it meant.

"Seems like you can't stay away from me for too long, Blurry." - Josh made his way to the kitchen, not even looking back an the boy behind him.

"Well.." - Blurryface followed him and sat on the kitchen table. "I've missed messing with you,so here I am."

"You're not messing with anyone, dear." - Josh filled up his mug with a hot drink and turned around to face the demon with a smile on his face. "I know you won't kill me. I am not scared of you." - He shrugged.

Blurry's eyes lighted up and he jumped down from the table, approaching Josh. 

"Not scared of me,huh?"

"Nope. Actually, I want to get to know you even more."

"What?!" - Blurry growled and stepped back. Suddenly, Josh's hands raised to his cheeks, cupping his face. The boy looked into his red, beautiful eyes and smiled.

"I want to know you.. I want to see.. I want to say hello to you.."

Blurry's eyes went wide. He pushed the boy back.

"No. No way, no fucking way."

"Please."

"I said no!" - The demon shouted, hands clutching on his own hair.

Josh neared him.

"I beg you.. Let me see you.. not Tyler.. You." - He whispered. Something has changed in Blurry's eyes. The aggression, the hate was gone.. Only loneliness and emptiness left. He stayed quiet, staring at the boy with pink curls. "Blurry, let me in..I want to see you.."

A single tear slide down the demon's face. He sniffled, wiping his nose with the sleeve of his hoodie and locked his eyes with Josh's warm ones.

"Okay." - He whispered.

"Okay?" - Josh was surprised.

"Yes. Okay." - His hands suddenly flew up to Josh's forearms, squeezing them. The boy hissed from pain, but the the numbness took over him. He felt like he was drowning in the ocean of thoughts and memories. Everything was in blur, his head pounded.. Then the darkness came,

__

The white color. It was everywhere. Josh disconnected his lashes and looked around. He was standing in the strange room, every wall was covered in white. No windows, no doors, but the bright light still managed to come in. Was this his consciousness? His dream? Where the hell was he? And where was Tyler?

"Hello, Josh." - He heard a quiet voice behind him. He turned around on his heel and his lungs stopped working properly. There he was. Blurryface. He was definitely taller than Tyler. His fingers were longer, ears pointier. His scleras were red too, not only his pupils like they used to be before. His hands and neck were covered in black. He looked like Tyler but still was different. He looked even more beautiful and scary. He was wearing a red backpack and black clothes. The demon looked nervous, staring down at his feet and shuffling from one foot to another. Josh slowly approached him, still not managing to tear off his gaze. 

"Hello." - His voice cracked pathetically. Blurry smiled up at him. It was not a cruel, dark smile like the ones he gave Josh before. It was a sincere, even a shy smile. Josh couldn't stop the corners of his mouth from twisting up slightly. 

"You.. You look.." - Josh was lost for words.

"Scary? Horrifying? I know." - Blurry shrugged. No, that's not what Josh wanted to say. He reached out a hand to touch Blurry, but the creature flinched and moved away.

"Don't touch me."

"Why?"

"I will die."

Josh swallowed hardly.

"From my touch?"

"Yes. I am the hate in Tyler's mind. You are the love. Love defeats and kills hate. Simple as that.."

Blurryface sat down on the floor, crossing his legs and staring up at Josh. Josh nodded slowly. He found a way to kill the demon. Blurry trusted him enough to tell the way to destroy him. The demon sensed it, Josh was really bad with hiding his thoughts and feelings.

"Oh.." 

"What?"

"That's why you'r here.. I know you're here to kill me, Joshie." - Blurry talked, his voice was sad.

"No, that's not.."

"Bullshit." - The demon snapped. "You wanted to see what I look like? Yeah, right. You would never care enough about me. You don't care about anything besides your precious Ty-Ty."

"I care about you." - Josh neared him.

"No, you don't." - Blurry's voice broke and something in Josh's body broke with it. He got down to his knees and stared at the red-eyed creature.

"Just do it." - Blurry whispered. "End it. I am setting him free. You can save Tyler. Come on, kill me.."

"Blurry, I.."

"Please.." - Red eyes full of tears looked at the boy. "That's the only thing I can do for you. There's nothing else I can give. Kill me, save Tyler and be fucking happy."

Josh felt himself tearing up. No, this wasn't right. He has to be happy to kill Blurryface. To kill Tyler's demon. Why does he feel so sad? He couldn't move to approach the demon and touch him. He continued to sit there, shocked.

"I said fucking do it!" - Blurry flew up to his feet and run to Josh, grabbing his arm. In the same second, his eyes lit up with a red light. He gasped,falling down to his knees. The black paint on his hands and neck started to shift, move.. It covered his whole body, only pale face was left untouched. Josh's heart started to beat like a crazy, he clenched on the demons hands.

"No, no, no, not now, not yet.." - He mumbled and tried to steady himself when Blurry fell down to his knees. The creature's lips parted as he let out a shaking breath, his eyes finally locked on Josh's teary face. 

"No, please.. I need some more time.." - Josh sobbed quietly. 

The demon smiled at him. That shy smile was back.

"He's free.." 

"You're dying!" - Josh shouted, his grip on Blurry's arms was becoming stronger as Blurryface's body went limp. His eyes were barely open now.

"I did it f-for you.."

"You motherfucker!" - Josh screamed. He came here to kill the demon, why the hell did it hurt so much? "You did not give me a chance to love you!"

Blurry's hand reached out to touch Josh's face and stroke tear paths with his thumb.

"You're c-crying.. For me?" - He looked like a lost child. Josh nodded, letting out a whimper. "I love you, Joshua Dun. D-Don't you dare to.. Forget about me."

Suddenly, everything went quiet. Blurry's eyes went shut. His chest stopped moving. His hand fell down to the floor. The only sound in the room was Josh's wet sobs. He clenched on Blurry's body, hot tears streaming down his face.

Why the fuck did it hurt so bad? Why the fuck?!

Everything was getting blurred again. The white color radiating from every side.

Josh was waking up. Josh was going back to Tyler. To Tyler who no longer had a demon in his mind.


	17. Feel it coming.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> whoops plot twist

Josh slowly disconnected his lashes, letting the artificial white lighting of his room into his mind. He blinked the blur away and sat up, rubbing his forehead. The memories and realization washed over him: the dream, Blurryface being gone and.. Tyler. Josh quickly got on his feet, eyes darting from one place to another, finally spotting Tyler, laying on the carpet.

"Oh, shit." - He mumbled and run to the boy. Josh kneeled down, putting Tyler's head to his lap and stroking the boy's hair away from his face. Tyler's eyelids were closed, he was cold and pale. 

"Tyler, can you hear me?" - Josh slapped his cheeks several times but got no response. He tried to shake him awake. Nothing. 

"Ty, fuck, open your eyes, God damn it!" - He shouted, gripping Tyler's shoulders. Suddenly, the smaller boy twitched as his lungs gasped for the air. He started coughing and clutching on his neck with his shaking fingers. Josh tried to move his hands away.

"Hey, hey it's okay, you're safe." - He whispered as Tyler finally steadied his breathing. Josh locked him into his embrace and inhaled his smell. Something changed about his appearance. He tried really hard not to think about Blurryface. But it was hard. Tyler did not say a word. instead, he breathed out shakily in the crook of Josh's neck.

"He's gone, Ty.. He's finally gone." - Josh whispered. 

Tyler started shaking. Uncontrollably. Josh's body shook in unison with his, and he couldn't stop the boy. Tyler's hands flew up to his face, covering his mouth and eyes.

"Tyler, breath.. It is going to be okay, I promise you." - Josh felt tears gathering up in his eyes but he blinked them away. 

Suddenly, Tyler pulled away, pushing him slightly. 

"Ty-"

"Idiot."

Josh's heart dropped. He was confused and hurt at the same time. He did not know what to do, or what he did to deserve it. He only wanted to help Tyler. He killed Blurryface for him..

"What?" - He asked quietly.

"You're a fucking idiot, Joshua."

Joshua. 

JoshuaJoshuaJoshua. 

His head started to spin, his lungs were shutting down and his eyes begin to sting. This is the dream, right? It's just his brain playing tricks with him. Tyler's hands fell to his lap and he looked up at Josh.

"No. No, no, no.." - Sobs raised up in Josh's chest. He shook his head violently, crawling away from the boy. "No, this can't be real. You are not real!" - He shouted, tears were streaming down his face.

"Silly, silly Joshua. How could you believe that your touch would destroy someone as powerful as me? How could you think I would fall in love with you and sacrifice myself for your happiness?" 

Red eyes were swirling holes on his chest.

"How.. W-Where is Tyler?!" - Josh sobbed.

"Gone. Poof." - He laughed hysterically, throwing his head back.

"You're lying!" - Josh cried.

"I am not, Joshua."

The anger filled up Josh's whole body. He flew up to his feet and approached Blurry, who was smiling up at him. 

"Bring him back." 

"Oh, why would I do that? You've set me free. Your touch has set me free."

Josh's hands flew to Blurryface's neck. Demon's eyes went wide for a second, but then his maniac smile stretched on his face.

"Bring. Him. Back." - Josh spat, hardening the grip.

"My dear Joshua. It's just you and me now. Deal with it." - Blurry hissed back, his eyes were full of hate. Josh's hands moved up as his fingers clutched on the other boy's hair.

"Never." - He spat. It happened too quickly for the demon to even register and react. Josh smashed Blurry's head on the wall behind him, and he could swear he heard his skull cracking. His body became limp in Josh's arms. 

"You will bring him back. Trust me. And you will hate every second spent with me." - Josh whispered to his ear, smiling and holding Tyler's body closer to his chest. "I swear to God, you will regret everything you've ever done. You will beg me to kill you. You're not the only psychopath in the room, Blurryface."


	18. So give them blood, blood, gallons of the stuff!

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> My Blurry reminds me of Katherine Pierce :)

"Bluuurryyy.." - The loud, singing voice broke through the darkness inside of Blurry's head. He snapped his eyes open and hissed from the pain somewhere near his temple. He felt the blood dripping down his face. Josh was sitting in front of him, legs crossed, twisting knife between his fingers and smiling at Blurry. 

"Good morning, beautiful." 

"W-What the-" - Blurry wiped the blood and looked down at his fingers. "What the fuck did you do to me?!" - He growled.

"Knocked you out for some time." - Josh shrugged and got up to his feet. "Slept well?"

Blurry tried to stand up, but something pulled him back. He looked around and saw a heavy chain on his feet, which was secured on the wall. 

"Let me go, motherfucker!" - He shouted. Where were they? He could not recognize a place. It was some kind of a basement. Dirty, brown walls were staring down at him. 

"Sit. Down." - Josh pushed and forced him to sit down on the cold floor. 

"What are you going to do with me?" - Blurry's voice became too weak and pathetic. 

"I want to play with you. You love the games, dont you?" - Josh leaned down, his lips touching Blurry's cheeks.

"You will bring him back."

"Get off me!" 

Suddenly, a knife dig into Blurry's skin. He let out a scream full of pain, while Josh pressed the metal harder into Blurry's stomach. Tears spilled from demon's eyes.

"I said. Bring. Tyler. Back." - He hissed.

Blurry cried, hot tears coloring his pale face. 

"P-Please let m-"

"Shut the fuck up!" - Josh pressed the knife deeper. Blurry's screams became unbearable to deal with. His red eyes were glowing brighter than ever. For a second, Josh even felt sorry for him. He finally pulled the knife out and stepped back. Blurryface's screams cut off. He hanged his head down, tears still sliding down his face and neck.

"W-Who the hell ar-re you?"

"What?!" - Josh shouted.

"You a-are not Joshua. He would never do an-nything like this." - Blurry looked up. Blood was flowing down from the wound.

"You don't know me. You never did. I way spookier than you thought." - With these words, Josh's fist met the other boy's bloodied face. His hands clutched on Blurry's t-shirt, holding him and forcing him to look up. 

"Look at me. Look at me, you piece of crap." - Blurryface's red eyes locked with Josh's frustrated ones. He has never seen such an anger. Never. 

"You are pathetic. You are nothing. Look at you, struggling to survive,to fucking exist. One look at you makes me want to throw up." - Josh spitted. 

"You love him-m, so much. You would never kill me." - Blurry whispered. 

"Trust me, I will. You were wrong. Right now, my hate for you is bigger than my love for Tyler. You will rot here, I swear to God. Bring him back, or.." - The knife's end touched Blurry's lips. In a second, the blood started to drip. Blurry looked Josh in the eyes and licked the metal. Something twisted inside of Josh's pants. No-no. This was wrong. He backed away, shaking his head. 

"What, couldn't handle the pressure, Joshua?" - Blurryface smirked. Before he could say something else, his face was met with another punch. And another. And another. His ribs, stomach, everything was hurting. He dropped down to the floor, already dirty piles grew redder underneath him. His gaze was becoming unfocused. 

"Fuck you! Fuck you! Fuck you!" - Josh was screaming, his voice breaking with every word. 

"Bring Tyler back!!"

"I.. Just want.. To live.." - Blurry whispered, doubting his pathetic voice reached Joshua.

Josh kicked him one last time in the stomach, before storming off from the room an locking the doors behind him. 

Blurry's body was shaking, every breath he took was painful. He spit out the blood. He felt his lungs shutting down. The darkness covered everything around him. He knew Josh would come back soon, he wouldn't let him die so easily. Blurryface closed his eyes and let out one last shaking breath before his body completely switched off.


	19. Sick of losing soulmates

"Open your eyes, bitch."

The wave of cold, even freezing water forced Blurryface to snap his eyes open. He coughed and tried really hard not to choke. He saw the blur of pink curls in front of him and felt strong fingers gripping his own hair and holding his head above the water.

"Oh, what is it? Too cold?!" 

Josh ducked him under the water again, this time holding him for more than ten seconds. He finally pulled him out and watched him while Blurry coughed violently and nearly puked out his guts.

"You know this is just a start, don't you?"

"P-Please s-stop-p." - Blurryface sobbed.

"Why would I?!" - Josh pulled the other boy's hair and forced him to look into his eyes. "Bring Tyler back, Blurryface."

"I can't-t.. I don't w-want to d-die, p-pleas-"

"Shut up!" - Josh kicked him in the stomach and let his hair go as the demon dropped to the floor, whimpering from the pain in his abdomen. 

"W-What have you bec-come.." - He hissed through his tears. "You're w-worse than m-me. You're a d-devil, look at-t you.."

“You’re the fucking reason I am like this, Blurryface!” - Josh shouted, his face twisted from the disgust. He hated this. He hated being a monster. “You took away the only thing I’ve ever loved. The only person I’ve ever needed! You fucking took him away.” 

Josh punched the other boy right in his nose and the new paths of blood started to paint on his face. But Blurry did nothing but smile with his bloodied teeth and stare up at frustrated Josh. 

“You think it’s funny?!” - Josh growled and hardened his grip on the knife in his shaking hand.

“I th-think I’ve created something beaut-tiful from you.” - Blurryface whispered. 

“Screw you..” - Josh whimpered through the sobs. He couldn’t stop the flow of tears streaming down his face. He sat down on the floor and hided his face in his hands,still holding a knife. Blurry slowly crawled into his direction and sat right in front of Josh.

“F-Fuck off.” - Josh mumbled, wiping his face. He felt embarrassed, weak and pathetic. He felt a light brush of fingers on his cheek. He looked up and saw sad, red eyes staring at him.

“I’m so proud of you, baby boy.” - Blurry said. He coughed and spit a small puddle of blood somewhere behind his back. “You’ve decorated me. I-I can finally feel. I can feel the pain and anger and distress. This overwhelming feeling of being alive." - The demon rambled, his eyes shimmering from the emotions. 

“But it's not yours! You stole it from Tyler. You stole the right to live from him.” - Josh hissed. He knew he had to beat Blurry, hurt him in all the possible ways. But he lost the ability to even stand up.

“Maybe he’s the one who stole it from the years ago,Joshua?” - Blurry whispered.

“You’re not meant to exist in this world..”

Blurryface nodded slowly. The blood smeared on his face made him look more beautiful than ever, for some reason and Josh hated it.

“I’m not meant to be. I don’t belong. Anywhere.”

“You don’t. You are nothing, you live for nothing, you have nothing. Everything you have right now - this body, feelings and thoughts - you stole them from Tyler. You stole his mind. You don’t deserve do live, Blurryface. You don’t deserve anything.” - Josh spitted, angry tears sliding down his cheeks. 

Blurry smiled sadly at him. Black drops of water fell down from his red eyes. Tears. These were his tears. Josh saw a demon crying.

He approached Josh. Slowly, crawling on his knees. He sat, face inches away from the other boy. Josh felt the cold breath ticking his face. Long, frozen fingers laced with his shaking ones, which were clutching the knife. 

“Kill me,then. For real, this time..” - He whispered. Josh did not need to hear anything else, he lifted his hand, Blurry’s fingers still gripping him. 

“Oh, trust me I will.”

“One last thing.” - The demon pleaded. 

“What?!”

Suddenly, Blurryface leaned and rested their foreheads together.

“Please, kiss me. And please, think about me, not.. Not him.” - He whispered. 

Josh knew this was wrong. He knew this was a horrible idea, but for some reason, he couldn’t stop himself. He leaned and hungrily kissed the demon’s bloodied, hot lips. The kiss was passionate, head-spinning and crazy-driving. Josh felt his taste, which was different from everything he has ever tasted. A dangerous, intimidating taste. He liked it. He loved it. 

But he knew what had to follow.

So he clutched a knife and drove it deep into Blurry’s stomach. He felt a gasp escaping demon’s lips and crushing on his chapped ones. He felt Blurry pulling away from him, letting out a shaking breath. 

“Th-Thanks.” - He whispered right before falling forward into Josh’s chest. Josh slid a knife deeper into his abdomen, while holding the boy with his other hand. One last time, he looked him in the eyes and saw everything at once. Pain, fear, passion, love, joy.. Everything Blurryface never got a chance feel. He felt it all at the same time. He slowly took out his knife.

With a last shaky exhale,red eyes became empty. Josh was holding his body, afraid to let go of him. Eyes shifted to the brown, chocolate-coloured ones, the one Josh missed so badly. Black paint from the hands and neck disappeared. The wound on the stomach started to heal and after a few moments, a loud cough escaped his lips.

The boy sat up, pulling away from Josh. Panic was rising up inside of his body.

“Hey,hey, Ty. It’s me, you’re safe. You’re with me.” - Josh cupped his face and forced Tyler to look him in the eyes.

“I-I.. He-Josh.. How did-“ - Tyler was still shocked,trying to remember everything that happened. Everything hurt. Why was everything hurting? And blood,oh there was so much blood.

“I’ve got you. It’s okay, Ty..” - Josh whispered to him. Tyler finally steadies his breathing and dared to look up and meet the other boy’s eyes.

“B-Blurr-“

“He’s gone. It’s over.”

“Josh,he killed himself.” - Tyler suddenly whispered. “He-He drowned himself in the darkness. Why did he-“

“He felt guilt. He felt rejection and.. And love. He felt for the first time in his life. He felt and that was enough for him..” - Josh said. He sighed and pushed Tyler closed to him,locking the boy in his embrace. “I missed you so much, Ty. Come on now, let’s get cleaned. And live our lives.”

__


	20. Golden days

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I am sorry for the sadness and tragedy. I needed to let it out.. Somewhere,anywhere..Thank you all for reading this fic <3cuddles to you

"Ty, I am sorry for this.." - Josh pointed at the blood smeared all over Tyler's body and shook his head. "I was so angry with him.."

"It's okay." - Tyler gave him a broken smile. "He's gone and that's what matters." 

They were sitting in the bathroom, Josh was cleaning and taking care of Tyler's wounds. The ones he carved on his body. The bruises he left while beating the hell out of Blurryface. 

"Do you think he's gone forever?" - Josh asked.

"I feel the emptiness in my brain." - Tyler shrugged. "I feel that he's gone. He killed himself, I saw him drowning in the darkness.."

"That's..Good." - Josh kissed the smaller boy's temple. "Let's go to bed, okay? I'm sure he was not letting you sleep."

"Okay,Jishwa." - Tyler smiled at him. 

They are spending the night holding and clutching onto each other. They are not going to let go. Never.

 

You could say that they will get their own fairy-tale ending. They will be happy, enjoying every minute of their lives together. Josh will purpose and Tyler will agree,of course he will. They will have a beautiful wedding, Brendon will sing for them and they will get drunk as hell,and well.. They will have even more beautiful sex. Lots of sex. Every day. They will be happy..

 

And maybe one day it will end. Maybe, one night, when Josh returns home from work, he will call Tyler's name but will get no answer. He will look everywhere for him, until he walks into the bathroom and finds his husband in the bathtub full of black water. _He drowned himself in the darkness._. Josh will pull Tyler out, he will call the ambulance. He knows how to perform CPR, they taught him in the school, didn't they? So he will try to breath the part of his soul into Tyler, he will try to force his heart beat again. He won't stop and let go even when the doctors arrive. Only after being pulled away, he will look around. He will notice scarlet letters on the mirror:

"I CAR EWHAT YOUT HIN K."

He will crash their apartment that night. He will destroy everything.

Tyler's funeral will be quiet. Josh won't cry, he won't move and even blink. He'll be numb and quiet. His friends will hold him, they will sympathetically pat his shoulders and hug his soulless body. Vessel. Josh will lose a battle for Tyler. Blurryface will win. Once and forever.

 

And maybe, after only a month, Brendon Urie's house will fill up with a loud scream and sobs. Maybe he will find his pink-haired best friend hanging down from the ceiling. Maybe he will witness the end of their beautiful fairytale. Brendon will never know the story behind them, he will never know Blurryface. Thanks God he won't.

 

But right now, Tyler and Josh are okay, holding each other in their bed and waiting for tomorrow to come. 

Right now, they are okay.

**Author's Note:**

> English is not my first language, so I apologize for some minor mistakes. Please, stay safe, frens. If you need somebody to talk to, or share your problems - I'm here!
> 
> Cuddles to you <3


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